BackPage’s Greatest Hits

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Well, BackPage finally relented and pulled the plug on their “adult services” section. It goes without saying that in the short term this will have a profound financial impact on the women who make their living offering these *ahem* services. I personally have no problem with prostitution other than the fact that as a hypochondriac and a germophobe I’ve never been inclined to actually visit one (the closest I think I’ve ever gotten would be getting lap dances at a strip club where the girls openly flouted some of the rules on contact.)  I guess the other issue I have with prostitution is that it’s just another annoying level of consumerism and the commoditization of absolutely everything. It has always been around though and probably always will be.

I’m not sure it’s worth paying for a lot of these women, and I don’t know enough about psychology to understand the men that do it repeatedly. In real life, most hookers don’t look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and are actually pretty beat. Many of them use fake or misleading pictures and often the ones that use real pics are pretty bottom of the barrel generally (look at a few mugshots on google images to get an idea.) Some of them are genuinely pretty but tend to get some rough miles on them fairly quickly. There are undoubtedly a lot of attractive and honest female escorts mixed in among the riff raff, but for the effort required to locate a legit one without getting robbed, arrested or scammed you might as well just spend all that energy trying to find a decent girlfriend or wife.

When I moved to Hollywood in the late 90’s I noticed right away there were no hot streetwalkers or anything like in the movies. The only prostitutes seemed to be horribly unpassable trannies that sauntered around Santa Monica blvd (think Ted Wass dressed as a hooker in Curse of the Pink Panther.) My friend told me the authorities had “cleaned up” Hollywood Blvd a few years before, so I have no idea if what was previously depicted in movies was ever anything close to resembling reality.

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This is not what a typical prostitute and her client look like and was also a pretty bad movie and also forever ruined the Roy Orbison song of the same name.

Anyway, where was I going with all this? I don’t normally like writing about these kinds of subjects because it brings out the “ZOMG Degeneracy!” crowd and the prudish right. I won’t really miss BackPage, and the people that run it are the same kind of people that bitch about censorship yet have no problem with censorship when it comes to crimethink they disapprove of. One thing I will miss though, is reading the often humorous reviews of BackPage escorts. I first stumbled onto them by accident several years ago when searching for the address of a (recently converted) condo unit I was looking to buy:

Hey guys just letting everyone know that if you book a session with Pixie or any girl at 1241 e. medlock Villa Marvsa apartments that you will be getting more than you bargained for. There is a guy (calling himself T-Bone)in one of the locked bedrooms that video and audio tapes every session. He then keeps all the tape cause in case he needs to use them later[/QUOTE]

I’m a little freaked about this myself. I visited Pixy a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to see if she could actually squirt. Things did seems pretty normal during the introduction. Looking back now I can see that this could be true. She started off by making her “disclaimer” speech which I though was a little unusual, but nothing really really caught me off guard at the time. If they are recording this as a way to protect themselves from LE I could understand that but the really should disclose that info up front. If it’s for the purpose of redistributing I’m going to be up shit creek. I definately will not be back there either way.

I had no idea at the time there was an entire internet subculture of these kinds of reviews. Reading them has been an occasional source of amusement for me when I’m bored every now and then. These people have their own lingo (GFE, BBBJ, etc) which takes a bit of time to decode. They tend to refer to their encounters as dreams (ie. “I had a dream I visited Wilma in Riverside”) presumably as some kind of legal loophole to prevent them from incriminating themselves in a crime. These reviews are often explicit in the grossest ways, and some of these people are truly degenerates and completely without shame or class. Yet even among them there exists something of a code of honor in how business is conducted and people are treated.

One interesting development from BackPage shutting down it’s escort ads has been that these women are now simply placing their ads in the “women seeking men” section of the dating classifieds. Wew! So don’t be surprised if on apps like Tinder and Okcupid you start getting an influx of matches, propositions and “dates” from actual live escorts (in addition to the normal annoying bots and spam scripts that already run rampant on those sites.) Be safe out there, lads and ladies. It’s best to just avoid all this crap and find a nice stable relationship if you can…and even if you can’t, there are more productive ways you can spend your time…like reading old books or reading any book for that matter.  Heck even playing “Leisure Suit Larry 6” for a few hours would be a better use of your time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

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