The Far Side of the Mooncoin

One night a few years ago I met up with one of my old friends at Chili’s, and he told me I should get into bitcoin. He tried to convince me to purchase a bunch of computing machines and turn my condo into some kind of improvised bitcoin mining facility. I entertained the idea, but in the back of my mind it seemed preposterous and the whole time I was thinking, “Yeah there’s no way I’m going to do that.” It piqued my interest though, so that evening I went home and figured I might buy a few bitcoins just for the heck of it. After doing some research, I soon discovered they were like 50 or 100 dollars each and ultimately decided it would be a huge waste of money. Fast forward four years, and here we are with the price of a single bitcoin being over $4000. I’m not going to beat myself up about it though. As my grandpa used to always say in response to any “woulda shoulda coulda” talk, “If the dog wouldn’t have stopped to shit he would’ve caught rabbit.”

Anyway, I never wanted to get into this cryptocurrency business as I never really saw any point to it, until now. Recent developments have caused making monetary transactions more difficult online, as conducting any kind of business (even just for boring stuff) has become tied to having politically correct beliefs. So whether or not one believes that cryptocurrencies have any intrinsic value, it’s become clear to many of us that they have “utilitarian value” if nothing else and a role to play in building an AltTech sanctuary, where we can interact as humans of leisure outside the reach of corporate busybodies and their swarms of bugmen.

On a lighter note, trading in cryptocurrency and using it for donations and micropayments is just plain fun. Bitcoin is so expensive that it doesn’t really seem like a good option for micropayments anymore, because you’re dealing in tiny fractions of them at this point (ie sending someone .00001 bitcoin.) So I’ve decided to go with mooncoin instead. It’s much better suited for this purpose and it’s cheap and abundant. The technology behind it seems to work well enough and the transactions go through quickly and smoothly across wallets from what I can tell. While there are a lot of altcoins out there, mooncoin has one of the best aesthetics and seems to me to be a perfect fit for the futurist community. I don’t recommend that people buy large amounts of mooncoin with any intent to get rich, nor do I advocate buying it because you think it will be the “next big thing or whatever.” There is a good chance that most of these altcoins will fail and you may be stuck with a pile of worthless coins. They are not always easy to sell on the exchanges anyway.

Make it a Mooncoin tonight!

So I plan on using mooncoin for tips, donations and micropayments. These coins will be better served by people that incorporate them into everyday usage rather than just the speculators and vultures who engage in pump and dumps for a quick buck.

To obtain mooncoins, I recommend Bleutrade or CoinExchage.io. The mooncoin wallet can be downloaded here. If you enjoyed this article and want to send a few mooncoins my way, you can send them to this address:
2SjmT8hSzvqd6AJTXDCSbxq8oKaXsU3NCA

That’s all for now. I’ll be mining on far side if you need me.

For more info:
https://www.reddit.com/r/MoonCoin/

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Official Response to Trump’s Remarks on the AltLeft

As many of you may well know, President Trump conducted a press conference earlier today in which he specifically made disparaging remarks about the AltLeft. Many of these statements were slanderous and well off the mark. No one that I know who is associated with the AltLeft (which by the way has existed for years) would ever support or engage in violence. As anti-alpha male anti-heroes, we don’t care for brodozers and machismo and people who eat chips loudly. We like our testosterone bound to SHBG, not left unchecked where it is free to bind to receptor sites willy nilly or converted into its more potent forms. I personally don’t even like to attack bugs. In fact, I once had a black widow spider web in my shower and continued to shower next to it for a year, leaving the web completely undisturbed. Occasionally I would glance over at the spider, its red hour glass glistening through the steamy water droplets, and I would say “hey bud. how’s it going?” I have no empirical proof, but to this day I like to think we had an understanding. The idea that we would attend rallies and assault people, could not be further from the truth. I could not harm a fly. Speaking of insects I was as shocked as anyone when in the 1958 version of the film “The Fly,” Vincent Price and the detective just stood there idly watching as Al Hedison was devoured by the spider. They made absolutely no effort to save him despite his desperate cries for help. Militants? Violence? Yeah right. To paraphrase Mike Myers in Wayne’s World “I don’t even own a gun, let alone many guns, which would necessitate a gun rack.”

Trump’s comments are a slap in the face to anyone who believes that the less aggro elements of Antifa and the AltRight should combine forces to get single payer health care passed and a plan for student debt relief. They could focus their dual energies on dismantling the college football industrial complex. Time to get rid of the obsession with national championships, ditch the needless playoffs and restore conference rivalries. Go back to naming bowl games strictly after fruits, plants and other commodities rather than mega-corporations. If the AltRight and Antifa groups are to have skirmishes, they should take the form of squirt gun battles, their classic Super Soaker 50s and translucent squirt guns, filled not with bleach but with Hi-C, Tang and Capri Sun. Yeah that’s right, the red pill is for squares. The AltLeft is all about the orange pill. That’s where instead of spending a bunch of your hard earned mooncoin to attend a rally in Podunk USA and get maced by strange looking subhumans, you simply head on down to the food court at your local dying mall and order up an Orange Julius, quietly(!) slurping it while daydreaming about the cosmos and reminiscing about the Radio Shack you used to buy remote control cars from in the late 80’s, which has now been replaced by some kind of ethnic eyebrow waxing place (thanks to both globalization and greed induced corporate imperial overextension.) Go ahead, call us chic nihilists, fedora nationalists, new suburbanists, retro futurists or snorters of Pixy Stix. We don’t care. Deep down, orange you glad we didn’t take the black pill or the turquoise pill or the periwinkle pill? You know you are. By the way, as I’ve mentioned many times I’ve always disliked the pill analogy. The Matrix is a terrible movie. The camera work practically gave me motion sickness, and the whole cheesy “he’s the one” thing made this cynical GenX’er roll his eyes while mentally barfing at the screen of this melodramatic spectacle. It was a total corn muffin, not a sci-fi movie that I cared for that’s for sure. I hated the digital effects and didn’t even enjoy the overall ambianic aesthetic as much as that of Damnation Alley, which is really saying something.

Trump’s statements are also a violent assault on every intelligent, well meaning, teal haired white feminist beauty who works her ass off in retail and reluctantly complains about how Indian customers are disproportionately cheap, and how they’re constantly demanding discounts and other free shit. Furthermore, Trump’s words betray every Xenu fearing person who has been stuck in line at Starbucks behind someone who couldn’t just simply place a fucking order without asking questions about every item on the menu…the calories, the ingredients, the special requests, the whole shebang.

When Trump condemns the AltLeft, it’s an insult to every person who recognizes that Vegas Vacation is the superior film in the National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise, even though Ethan Embry became kind of an SJW. What is it with former child/teen stars becoming SJWs anyway? I don’t care about Will Wheaton, as I never got into Star Trek. Tristine Skyler (whom I had a brief childhood crush on after seeing her in the film Kidco and who outshined Christian Slater in one of the best ABC Weekend Specials, The Haunted Mansion Mystery) was a little bit more disappointing. She went to Princeton though, so good for her. I really don’t understand how any 70’s or 80’s kid could get more than superficially into social justice. Our childhoods were filled with grossly offensive things, (remember Cabbage Patch Preemies? like ewww wtf I love social justice now) and those same childhoods were radically unmatched in their total awesomeness. Anyhow, suffice to say that Trump’s presser was a personal affront to anybody who found Back to the Future III to be a lackluster finale to the trilogy. I’m not sure how many people that works out to be, but it’s more than a few. You know it’s true. What Trump said is mind boggling for anyone who was inspired by Warren Beatty’s charismatic “Guy Named Porpoise” speech in the 1978 film Heaven Can Wait only to wonder why 40 years later nobody prioritizes these issues.

Trump’s criticism of the behavior of the AltLeft feels like knuckles to the creep to every laid back Beatnik Fascist that doesn’t care much for blabbing the drab gab but rather chatters hep patter on twatter, if you catch my drift. Not everyone wants to take the long trip to Roman Salutesville, but if we decide to rig ourselves a little shindig vessel, what’s the harm in a few kicks? After all, we’re peace loving moonboots, and you’re the tabby cat with the codes to the missiles.

Every left transhumanist who seeks bionic upgrades, mind uploading, immortality and the resurrection of wooly mammoths should be disturbed by Trump’s pontificatory declarations about the fabric of our being. Like Box in Logan’s Run we are “more than machine, more than man, more than a fusion of the two. Don’t you agree? Wait for the winds. Then our birds sing. And the deep grottos whisper our names.” Trump may have “one of the highest IQs,” but he’ll be no match for us after we transcend our earthly bags of bones and fuse our collective consciousnesses to refurbished Tandy 1000s.

People always claim that Trump is playing 4D chess. His moves are so unpredictable and counter-intuitive, and yet you just know the only possible explanation is that it must be because he is 12 moves ahead of you. I know this because I myself have beaten a computer at chess several times on the “very easy” setting. We here on the AltLeft have our own preferred game though. It’s called Hungry Hungry Hippos, and we’re playing for our fair share of all the marbles.

For Donations:
Bitcoin Address 1CDTBhYftHbod16WFhPz65nZmAmbb54Vph

The Card in the Coin Return

The Card in the Coin Return

Hey silly rabbit in
the bottomless top hat.
Caught in the rat race?

Do you ever feel like a
pasty pale mouse trapped
dead center square
tic-tac-dough
in a cat’s game
stalemate?

just mod-mod-modular cube maze bait
right smack-dab in
the middle of your cell pad
wanna run, make tracks, have a look around the place for
random artifacts but
color coded cops on your case
one door away like
Lock ‘n’ Chase
an unsolved Rubik’s snake
what a puzzlecade
levels, lives, points…but
no little brass key to jimmy open the briefcase
no solution in plain sight
no clear escape
no veering from the paperwork trail surveilled on
Memorex VHS tape
Don’t cry
Just try love, try hate, try again
when they rewind
push play
another coffee break
meditate
dreamlike stateless
curious expression
unibrow bridge across an
energy depleted face
evolves to form
the watchful cyclops’ eye
with laserlike focus
to materialize
the holographic breadcrumbs that
trace a corridor
squeeze through

neon
    exit
        sign

dividing line
flip side
open space!

Brandon Adamson is the author of Beatnik Fascism

Animal Rights Protest at Chick-Fil-A

Chick-Fil-A in simpler times

I had no idea there was such a thing as “Cow Appreciation Day,” and it seems an odd way of showing one’s appreciation to devour the creatures in the form of free/discounted fast food rather than a moment of silence or something, but hey humanoids are a weird bunch. My girlfriend and I stopped by there on the way home because she wanted to get something to eat really quick. Admittedly, I eat meat and love fast food, but I’ve never had much desire to go to Chick Fil-A because the one or two times I’ve eaten there I thought it was kinda gross. However, I was like “Whatever I’ll just get some waffle fries or something.” We would never have gone had we known they were doing this free food gag and that the place would be such a zoo. It was like Chuck E Cheese but without the brass tokens, helicopter rides (non-Pinochet variety) or animatronic bands. I was also hoping to maybe top off my diet coke, but they don’t keep the fountain drinks out in the lobby, so you can’t wheez the juice.

Anyway, while we were there, some animal rights people showed up to protest, so I filmed it.

Why Do People Still Smoke Cigs in the Current Year?

We’ve all heard the cliche “I only read it for the articles” about Playboy Magazine. Well, when I was a kid in the 80’s, I actually looked at those magazines mostly for the cigarette ads, which I sometimes would cut out and collect because I liked the aesthetic. Somewhere I still have them, neatly preserved in photo albums in a box alongside my Garbage Pail Kids collection. I mostly liked the Joe Camel advertisements but also really was into ads from other brands like “Vantage” or “Now” for some reason. I just associated them with airports and airline magazines and traveling (whenever I think of a 1980s airport I picture Newport ads being on the walls of the terminal.) My mom smoked Carltons, but my dad always thought smoking was stupid and found it mildly annoying when people lit up around him (my parents divorced when I was about 3 for unrelated reasons.)

I smoked briefly staring in about the 8th grade but by junior year in high school I was over it. This was over 20 years ago, and today I find myself wondering why people still smoke cigarettes. There’s really no reason anyone should still be smoking in the current year (unless they got hooked many years ago and just can’t quit.) I’m not arguing that it should be banned or anything, but merely that it seems pointless. I decided to do a brief anti-smoking “public service announcement” in the video below.