Journey to Vapor Island

Having known artist Robert Stark for about two years (he is still the only person from the political edge-o-sphere that I have met in real life,) I was anxious to finally read his long awaited novel, Journey to Vapor Island. I was of course interested to see how he might creatively incorporate his many personal obsessions, social observations and utopian visions into the storyline. On these grounds, he certainly did not disappoint:

As they approach the Galleria, they drive under a giant pink neon archway which leads to a corridor lined with Roman columns and statues. Noam wonders what the location looks like at night and wants to further explore the architecture of the Galleria, but Harry explains that the entrance to the Erotic Emporium is VIP only.
Carlos jokes, “Noam, you’re still such a nerd. The only architecture I’ll be exploring is that of the male anatomy.”

Frequent listeners to his long running podcast will instantly recognize his favorite topics when they make cameo appearances in the book or manifest themselves as part of the underlying themes: architecture, city planning, neon, Alicia Silverstone, Pepe the frog, “Israeli-Aryanism,” blonde Jewish girls, aristocratic individualism, Leisure Suit Larry (I’m proud to say introduced him to this game,) Roger Blackstone, futurism, vaporwave, Sarah Michelle Gellar, new urbanism, etc.

Before I start this review, I just want to say that this book is not for anyone that is squeamish about sex, and that includes probably most people that make up the current crop of the “AltRight” (aka the SquareRight.) If you’re an uptight prude, NoFap weirdo, LARPy tradfag or just use the term “degeneracy” unironically, you will probably not enjoy this book. Then again, maybe you will pull a dark sense of humor out of your ass for a hot minute and enjoy it…but if you decide to read “Journey to Vapor Island” don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The sexual scenes in the book strike me as being akin to the “random battles” in old school Super Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy IV. It’s like when you’re walking across the overworld toward the next town, eager to see advance the story, and every few steps you take on the map, there is one of those annoying random battles. “Ugh, not another of these stupid Were-rats.” Even though the battles feel like tedious chores, they still serve a purpose as part of the journey, in terms of leveling up the characters and making you feel that much more accomplished when you finally reach the end of the game. So, though the sex scenes are sometimes graphic and painful to read through (they definitely don’t seem intended to be arousing,) at a certain point in the story you realize their significance as part of an overarching, satirical social commentary on contemporary society’s obsession with sex. Their presence is a reminder of how central sex is to people’s motivations, and the overall perception of status in society. Now, on to the review.

BIG SECRETS, HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD!

The story itself could probably best be described as a “not quite AltRight,” hypersexed and homoerotic (to put it mildly) adult variant of The Neverending Story. Journey to Vapor Island chronicles the misadventures of “Noam Metzembaum,” a precocious young Jewish man with a dirty mind and delusions of grandeur. Another central figure in the book (but one who never actually appears) is Roger Blackstone, a wealthy and controversial outsider political figure whose bold ideas and futuristic visions align with Noam’s. It would be easy to say that Blackstone represents a Trump-like figure, but it could just as easily be a Ross Perot or even Willy Wonka. Roger Blackstone is in the same vein as these types, but really his political theories and ideas bear very little to resemblance to Trump’s aside from the public’s hysterical perception of them being “fascist” and all the rest.

The “journey” begins with Noam as a socially inept yet intelligent student at a ghetto public school, where he is bullied and tormented by brutish minority students. He thinks so little of them, that he often refers to them in animalistic terms like “beasts.” When these minority thugs see Noam striking up a friendship with a nice black girl named Vanessa, they promptly beat him up.

Noam develops a crush on a wealthy blonde Jewish girl named Natalie Bloom while attending a bat mitzvah and convinces his mother to let him switch schools to attend the prestigious “Chadsworth Academy” (the book is peppered with these kinds of meme references) where Natalie is going to school. Noam’s mother is too poor to afford the tuition, but luckily he is able to obtain an academic scholarship. While at Chadsworth, Noam finds that the girls have no interest in him, and he once again finds himself being relentlessly humiliated and bullied, this time by the “Chads,” a group of handsome and stereotypical 80’s-style, Aryan looking jock assholes (although their dialogue often more closely resembles that of 90s wiggers.) Stark seems unaware (or doesn’t care) that this archetype is itself a bit of a Jewish film invention…stemming from ethnic insecurity and resentment. Revenge of the Nerds (by Jeff ((Buhai,)) The Legend of Billie Jean (produced by ((Rob Cohen,)) written by Mark ((Rosenthal)) and Lawrence ((Konner,)) Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Clueless (both directed by Amy ((Heckerling,)) Just One of the Guys (written by Dennis Feldman and directed by Lisa Gottlieb) and The Karate Kid (written by Robert Mark ((Kamen)) are all quintessential examples of this. I still maintain a nostalgic fondness for these films, but understanding writers’ and artists’ subconscious motivations and insecurities allows one to view their work with a cold eye and minimizes their capacity for emotional manipulation.

Noam’s humiliation by the Chads seems limitless, and he comes off as such a pathetic figure he seems irredeemable. While reading the first third of the book I often just wished Noam would just put himself out of his misery and off himself. One of the highlights of the Chadsworth portion though is the scene where they conduct a mock debate in class. Several students roleplay as candidates from various political parties, with Noam assuming the role of Roger Blackstone. What’s remarkable about this scene is the way the characters authentically argue each side. There is no straw-manning here. The participants state their case almost exactly the way they would in real life. It is impressive the way Stark manages this level of objectivity in crafting this scene.

Noam’s conflict with the Chads comes to a head (literally) when they defile the girl he is in love with at a party. Enraged, Noam actually murders and beheads several of the Chads. He then burns down the entire house. For me, this is where the book begins to get more interesting.

After a bizarre trial and a sympathetic judge (Noam had noticed a Blackstone bumper sticker on the judge’s car,) Noam only ends up being sentenced to about 15 years. The book devotes very little to the time Noam actually spends locked up. It is treated as a dreamlike, abstract blur (this time utilizing the familiar “pill” memes.)

After Noam is released, he discovers the world has changed dramatically. Roger Blackstone is now in charge and has since implemented many of his visions for society. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say the US has become a lot more retro-futuristic and sexually open minded. Much to Noam’s surprise, Noam also discovers that he himself has become viewed as a folk hero, with many people having been inspired by his manifesto. This is another part of the social commentary. Ahead of his time, Andy Warhol once remarked that even people like Charles Manson were considered “up there” in terms of celebrity status and stardom despite their fame arising from the perpetration of gruesome and heinous crimes. We now live in a world where spree shooters like Elliot Rodger have a substantial posthumous following and live on in memes. Twenty years after Columbine, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold have their fans. Some of the fandom phenomenon is just teenagers being edgy, but the darker part is that on some level there are a great deal of people that sympathize and identify with their struggles (even if most people wouldn’t go as far as to throw a violent public temper tantrum and murder people.)

In Noam’s case, he had unquestionably genuine grievances, as he was the victim of not just basic bullying but sexual assaults and torture. Whether or not his level of retaliation was justified though is up for debate. Of course, it doesn’t take long for Noam to continue his violent acts once released. He brutally attacks an old bully he recognizes from his ghetto high school and castrates a well-known Israeli pick up artist that goes by the name of “Moosh” (hmmm I wonder who could have been the inspiration for that character.)

In any case, the story continues with Noam traveling to “Vapor Island,” where a movie is being made about his manifesto and life. Constructed by Blackstone’s company, Vapor Inc, the island is a futuristic, fantasy city with an eclectic mix of architectural styles, from Greco-Roman to Art Deco to 80’s neon. The movie about Noam’s life is being directed by Ari Meschel, a greedy and sleazy director/producer cast from the same mold of Harvey Weinstein (Stark also claims he actually did have Weinstein in mind while writing this, even before the allegations recently came out.)

As Noam explores, Noam begins to notice that everything on the island isn’t quite what it appears to be. It was at this point in the book that I began to appreciate what a work of genius “Journey to Vapor Island” is. A cohesive, overarching narrative begins to emerge in what I had initially written off as a chaotic product of Stark’s often juvenile and depraved imagination. Many of the attractions and destinations on the island turn out to be large scale business ventures, which are based upon the tragic events in Noam’s life and ideas from his journal. The shameless, opportunistic, economic exploitation and commodification of horrific crimes and personal tragedies may seem absurd in this context, but they are all too familiar. How
many films have been made and books been written about The Manson Family or the Zodiac Killer? You can buy Charles Manson coffee mugs and Elliot Rodger t-shirts. Journey to Vapor Island is stacked with plot developments that at first glance seem totally unrealistic and off the wall, yet upon closer inspection are just slightly exaggerated caricatures of genuine phenomena that can be observed all around us, in the world we live in today. This is what the book gets at, the commercialization of everything pure (or impure for that matter.) Noam is disgusted by the commercial exploitation of his journal entries and actions as a young man, which he felt came from a private and genuine place in his heart.

In a bizarre turn of events at The Erotic Emporium (my favorite scene) Noam receives a map, which he follows and eventually finds his way to meet a bizarre ancient civilization of frogmen that are secretly living beneath the island. Weird, huh?

Noam gets wind of the fact that Meschel’s plans to twist the meaning of Noam’s manifesto and completely misrepresent Noam’s actions in order to substitute Meschel’s own narrative. Noam determines that he must prevent Meschel from making the movie. After one lengthy final humiliating femdom ordeal at the hands of Meschel’s sadistic teenage daughter, everything culminates in a climactic (albeit brief) battle between the frogmen and Meschel’s security forces. The island is essentially destroyed.

I won’t give away the ending, but ultimately Noam has to decide whether to stay in a state of fantasy or return to the “real” world. Noam is told that the longer he stays in “Vapor” the more difficult it will be for him to return and function in the world. He has no idea whether his life will be as pathetic and humiliating as it was before if he returns, or whether his experiences will have improved/altered it in some way. He decides to return, and we can only speculate as to what is in store for him.

I did not expect much from Journey to Vapor Island when I began reading it, but I will say this, it is not a misleading title. I definitely felt like I had completed a journey when reading this thing, and like a classic SNES rpg game, when I finally got through it, I didn’t want the adventure to end. Journey to Vapor Island is one of the most creative, imaginative, and depraved books I’ve ever read. It is a true contemporary classic that is plugged in to all the ills and frills which make up the surreal world young people are trying (and usually failing) to navigate their way around.

Journey to Vapor Island
By Robert Stark
340 pages

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Arguments and Blueprints

It’s tempting to debate people. There’s always the hope that the person you’re engaging with can be either be persuaded, or if nothing else be revealed to have less persuasive arguments. Minds of the participants rarely get changed, but in many cases the debates are useful for reaching potentially open minded members of the audience. Sometimes clarifications are necessary. People need to be challenged on certain points and called out for inaccuracies, especially when it involves the misrepresentation of one’s views. Over the years though, I’ve learned it is mostly a waste of time. In fact, there is not enough time in the day respond to every claim you disagree with, distortion of your beliefs, or attack directed at you. It just isn’t worth it. Most people are just too dumb to process things, even when they are presented clear as day. I rarely respond to criticism and attacks for this reason (who cares? lol.) When I see people like Millennial Woes or Sargon of Akkad make their hour long rebuttal videos dealing with minor quibbles about this or that, I have to admire them for their patience. I could never do it. At the end of the day who is really left that is even persuadable? Think about the NFL for a second. As openly hostile and preach as it is toward white people, you’d think almost nobody who isn’t a masochist would continue to watch it. Ratings should be down like 80%, yet they’ve only decreased a few percentage points here and there. That may be a big enough deal to affect advertising revenue significantly, but it’s hardly an “awakening.” It’s pathetic really. That’s the reality of so called “boomergate.” No one cares. At a certain point you just have to move forward with what you’ve got, or more accurately…head for the hills with whoever else wants to get out.

There are already more than enough like-minded people that want to escape and form some kind of small nation somewhere together (such a place would probably only require a few thousand people at minimum, perhaps even less.) By all means, if you’ve got the time, determination and energy to try to convince millions of reality tv viewers and sportsball fans people to embrace your socially ostracizing political ideology, feel free to go for it. If you live in parts of Europe, you might still have a chance to salvage your country, if it isn’t too unrecognizably gone demographically. For the rest of us though, it’s worthwhile to start thinking more in terms of building tangible societies, creating the blueprints for the kinds of states you want to live in and actually working out the logistics. I’m not talking about “passivism” or “being the change you want to see.” I’m saying forget about arguing with people online and start collectively shopping for discount islands (and figuring out how you’re going to pay for them.)

Postcards From New Suburbia

Sipping a glass of cheap moscato and in between watching episodes of Vega$ on dvd, I thought I would take a break from my “new suburban man of leisure” lifestyle to give a few updates…

I’ve been busy editing Robert Stark’s novel, which can only be described as an insane masterpiece, written in such a way that it will offend just about every type of person. Having seen my fair share of depraved 70’s and 80’s porn and spent several years hanging out in fringe political circles, I’m somewhat desensitized to offensive content at this point. However, what I have found problematic is the atrocious grammar and spelling in the book, for no other reason than I’m lazy, and it ultimately takes longer for me to edit the project. That’s just the trade-off though for a book that runs on pure imagination I suppose. In my own books, I would agonize for ages over a single typo, ready to swallow a bottle of pills over a misplaced apostrophe or improper usage of an idiom. In that sense, I envy Stark… who clearly does not give a fuck about anything but the characters and the storyline.

Some people who have followed my blogs for a long time, may wonder why I don’t write about racial issues as much as I used to. To be honest, I just don’t have a lot to say on it. I’ve written probably close to 70 essays about race, and at a certain point you just become a crank if that’s all you write about. The exception of course is if you’re one of those HBD type bloggers that treats the subject as an academic area of study. I’m not. Admittedly I don’t care that much about “hbd.” I find it to be more of an academic question at this stage. My interest in the topic of race has always been purely for practical purposes. Most non-whites openly say they have no interest in living in a color-blind western society, much less the kind of transhumanist, retro futuristic mini-empire of the sort I advocate… so it’s kind of moot whether or not they theoretically could flourish equally and sustain such civilizations adequately. They don’t even want to, so who cares? It’s like two people arguing whether I’m biologically capable of being a top-tier professional golfer when I don’t even have a slight interest in playing golf, (except perhaps miniature golf…which I’ve been having a bit of nostalgia for having not played since the summer of 1998.) Academic questions are still worthwhile to pursue, but in this case plenty of others are already on it. Anyway, by now most people know where I stand. I have no interest in getting involved in the drama and feuds between various factions and personalities. I don’t care about winning over the masses (who there aren’t even mathematically enough of to make a difference in an electoral system) or appealing to “the eternal normie.” I don’t care about global empires and geopolitics. I’m interested in small-scale tribalism and radical escapism.

Anyway, what else is new? Well, Trump continues to screw the pooch and at this point has almost fully completed his retrogression into a neoconservative republican. He’s essentially useless to anyone who cares about consumer advocacy, workers rights, and staying out of pointless foreign conflicts. His strategy appears to be to talk shit to reporters and celebrities on social media, in an attempt to distract his supporters from the fact that he isn’t implementing any substantive policies that would benefit them. 4D chess? Yeah right. If Trump is playing anything it’s Electric Football…that old tabletop game where the metal football field vibrates and the players move around semi-randomly, occasionally going in the direction you want them to.

Brandon Adamson is the author of Beatnik Fascism

Discussing AltLeft Chaos Magic on The Stark Truth

Robert Stark and co-host Sam Kevorkian talk to Brandon Adamson. Brandon blogs at AltLeft.com, is the author of Beatnik Fascism, and has a Youtube channel, Self Checkout.

The entire podcast can be found here.

Topics:

-Brandon’s Official Response to Trump’s Remarks on the AltLeft
-The context of Trump using the term “Alt-Left” to describe the antifa as opposed to the original Alt Left
-The media’s references to Brandon’s Alt Left site and how the only semi accurate one was The Week’s article (since the time when this podcast was recorded there was another accurate article which appeared in Salon)
-Confusing political news junkies with esoteric and outlandish cultural references
-The “Orange Pill”
-How the less aggro elements of the Left and the Alt-Right should combine forces for single payer health care, student debt relief, and the dismantling the College Football Industrial Complex
-How massive online censorship is forcing people to build an alternative tech universe
-Corporations enforcing a uniform culture of consensus among workers
-Companies policing employees behavior outside of work
-Why a 6 hour work day would be more efficient
People Don’t Think Universal Basic Income Be Like It Is but It Do
New Suburbanism

Official Response to Trump’s Remarks on the AltLeft

As many of you may well know, President Trump conducted a press conference earlier today in which he specifically made disparaging remarks about the AltLeft. Many of these statements were slanderous and well off the mark. No one that I know who is associated with the AltLeft (which by the way has existed for years) would ever support or engage in violence. As anti-alpha male anti-heroes, we don’t care for brodozers and machismo and people who eat chips loudly. We like our testosterone bound to SHBG, not left unchecked where it is free to bind to receptor sites willy nilly or converted into its more potent forms. I personally don’t even like to attack bugs. In fact, I once had a black widow spider web in my shower and continued to shower next to it for a year, leaving the web completely undisturbed. Occasionally I would glance over at the spider, its red hour glass glistening through the steamy water droplets, and I would say “hey bud. how’s it going?” I have no empirical proof, but to this day I like to think we had an understanding. The idea that we would attend rallies and assault people, could not be further from the truth. I could not harm a fly. Speaking of insects I was as shocked as anyone when in the 1958 version of the film “The Fly,” Vincent Price and the detective just stood there idly watching as Al Hedison was devoured by the spider. They made absolutely no effort to save him despite his desperate cries for help. Militants? Violence? Yeah right. To paraphrase Mike Myers in Wayne’s World “I don’t even own a gun, let alone many guns, which would necessitate a gun rack.”

Trump’s comments are a slap in the face to anyone who believes that the less aggro elements of Antifa and the AltRight should combine forces to get single payer health care passed and a plan for student debt relief. They could focus their dual energies on dismantling the college football industrial complex. Time to get rid of the obsession with national championships, ditch the needless playoffs and restore conference rivalries. Go back to naming bowl games strictly after fruits, plants and other commodities rather than mega-corporations. If the AltRight and Antifa groups are to have skirmishes, they should take the form of squirt gun battles, their classic Super Soaker 50s and translucent squirt guns, filled not with bleach but with Hi-C, Tang and Capri Sun. Yeah that’s right, the red pill is for squares. The AltLeft is all about the orange pill. That’s where instead of spending a bunch of your hard earned mooncoin to attend a rally in Podunk USA and get maced by strange looking subhumans, you simply head on down to the food court at your local dying mall and order up an Orange Julius, quietly(!) slurping it while daydreaming about the cosmos and reminiscing about the Radio Shack you used to buy remote control cars from in the late 80’s, which has now been replaced by some kind of ethnic eyebrow waxing place (thanks to both globalization and greed induced corporate imperial overextension.) Go ahead, call us chic nihilists, fedora nationalists, new suburbanists, retro futurists or snorters of Pixy Stix. We don’t care. Deep down, orange you glad we didn’t take the black pill or the turquoise pill or the periwinkle pill? You know you are. By the way, as I’ve mentioned many times I’ve always disliked the pill analogy. The Matrix is a terrible movie. The camera work practically gave me motion sickness, and the whole cheesy “he’s the one” thing made this cynical GenX’er roll his eyes while mentally barfing at the screen of this melodramatic spectacle. It was a total corn muffin, not a sci-fi movie that I cared for that’s for sure. I hated the digital effects and didn’t even enjoy the overall ambianic aesthetic as much as that of Damnation Alley, which is really saying something.

Trump’s statements are also a violent assault on every intelligent, well meaning, teal haired white feminist beauty who works her ass off in retail and reluctantly complains about how Indian customers are disproportionately cheap, and how they’re constantly demanding discounts and other free shit. Furthermore, Trump’s words betray every Xenu fearing person who has been stuck in line at Starbucks behind someone who couldn’t just simply place a fucking order without asking questions about every item on the menu…the calories, the ingredients, the special requests, the whole shebang.

When Trump condemns the AltLeft, it’s an insult to every person who recognizes that Vegas Vacation is the superior film in the National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise, even though Ethan Embry became kind of an SJW. What is it with former child/teen stars becoming SJWs anyway? I don’t care about Will Wheaton, as I never got into Star Trek. Tristine Skyler (whom I had a brief childhood crush on after seeing her in the film Kidco and who outshined Christian Slater in one of the best ABC Weekend Specials, The Haunted Mansion Mystery) was a little bit more disappointing. She went to Princeton though, so good for her. I really don’t understand how any 70’s or 80’s kid could get more than superficially into social justice. Our childhoods were filled with grossly offensive things, (remember Cabbage Patch Preemies? like ewww wtf I love social justice now) and those same childhoods were radically unmatched in their total awesomeness. Anyhow, suffice to say that Trump’s presser was a personal affront to anybody who found Back to the Future III to be a lackluster finale to the trilogy. I’m not sure how many people that works out to be, but it’s more than a few. You know it’s true. What Trump said is mind boggling for anyone who was inspired by Warren Beatty’s charismatic “Guy Named Porpoise” speech in the 1978 film Heaven Can Wait only to wonder why 40 years later nobody prioritizes these issues.

Trump’s criticism of the behavior of the AltLeft feels like knuckles to the creep to every laid back Beatnik Fascist that doesn’t care much for blabbing the drab gab but rather chatters hep patter on twatter, if you catch my drift. Not everyone wants to take the long trip to Roman Salutesville, but if we decide to rig ourselves a little shindig vessel, what’s the harm in a few kicks? After all, we’re peace loving moonboots, and you’re the tabby cat with the codes to the missiles.

Every left transhumanist who seeks bionic upgrades, mind uploading, immortality and the resurrection of wooly mammoths should be disturbed by Trump’s pontificatory declarations about the fabric of our being. Like Box in Logan’s Run we are “more than machine, more than man, more than a fusion of the two. Don’t you agree? Wait for the winds. Then our birds sing. And the deep grottos whisper our names.” Trump may have “one of the highest IQs,” but he’ll be no match for us after we transcend our earthly bags of bones and fuse our collective consciousnesses to refurbished Tandy 1000s.

People always claim that Trump is playing 4D chess. His moves are so unpredictable and counter-intuitive, and yet you just know the only possible explanation is that it must be because he is 12 moves ahead of you. I know this because I myself have beaten a computer at chess several times on the “very easy” setting. We here on the AltLeft have our own preferred game though. It’s called Hungry Hungry Hippos, and we’re playing for our fair share of all the marbles.

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Brandon Adamson is the author of Beatnik Fascism

Because We Live HERE (and Not On the Korean Peninsula)

Back when Trump made the retarded decision to bomb Syria and betray the non-interventionist ideals he articulated in his campaign (and I use the word “articulated” very loosely here as in the case of Trump, a term like “blurted out” is probably a more accurate way of putting it,) I wrote a foreign policy article which also briefly addressed the situation with North Korea:

We got involved in the Korean War (in 1950,) which was a disaster. 65 years later we still maintain a substantial military presence there (for which we receive practically nothing in return) and face a potential nuclear threat.

Do you ever wonder why Uruguay or Argentina is not worried about the North Korean nuke threat or ISIS? They are not dumb enough to stick their noses in places where they don’t belong. The North Korean nuke threat to the USA is entirely self created. After 60 years South Korea should be ready and able to fly on their own. If they can’t now, they never will.

Fast forward a few months, and here we are again. American politicians just can’t resist being busybodies in the world, and Trump’s egotistical disposition, thin skin and an assortment of neocon advisers have led him once again to bring us closer to unnecessary conflict.

Once again we have people defending Trump thinking this is some sort of 4D chess to get North Korea to make a deal and disarm. Like really, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. North Korea is not dumb enough to give up their military deterrent. In fact they addressed this rather humorously in their own words back in April of 2003 when Bush was making similar reckless statements:

On Friday, North Korea said it would never give up its nuclear programs. The North compared U.N. inspections to “taking off our pants” and giving Washington an excuse to invade.

Source: N. Korea Hints It May Accept U.S. Talks, April 12, 2003, Associated Press

So yes we already know what the game is here… North Korea has no intention of giving in or making a deal other than something ambiguous they can sucker the US into agreeing to, which they will later violate without any fear the US will do anything about it. To add insult to injury, we actually send food aid to North Korea despite the fact that they openly hate us. Why would we be sending any food or money to a country which perceives us as a mortal enemy? Why not take the food that we send to North Korea to the inner cities, where it will (however so slightly) improve the quality of life for people in our own country?

These talks about disarmament and deals distracts from the main issue though, which is that we have no business being over there. Our continued intrusion into the conflict only exacerbates the situation for all parties involved. That a country threatens us should not in itself be a condition for engaging in war talk, if the reason for the threat is based on our being somewhere we don’t need to be in the first place. They don’t want to attack us because they wish to invade and occupy the continental United States or its various unincorporated island territories, like the scenario depicted in the shitty PC remake of Red Dawn (only slightly less preposterous than the original.) Who cares about North Korea and what kind of state they run? We shouldn’t, because we live here, and they only wish to attack us because we are meddling over there…where they live.