Cherry 2015 – If Loving A Fembot Is Artificial, I Don’t Want To Be Genuine

(this article originally appeared Nov 22, 2014 in Stepkid Magazine but has recently become relevant again)

One of the most prescient dystopian science fiction films of the 1980’s turned out to be the (direct to video?) 1987 movie, “Cherry 2000.”

The future depicted in Cherry 2000 is one where sexual encounters and relationships with real women have become complicated legal transactions requiring lawyers, and have been reduced to merely emotionless business arrangements. The women are typically aggressive, masculine, demanding and shrill. It leads to an environment where the rare romantic guy, who still longs for a traditional loving relationship, would actually find a courtship with a female android more emotionally fulfilling than one with a real live organic woman. It’s sort of a more sympathetic, less horrific spin on “The Stepford Wives” theme. In Stepford, the men killed their loving yet sassy wives in exchange for robot sex slaves who would do the dishes and clean the house without giving them any grief. They were portrayed unmistakably as as evil pricks. In contrast, the physically human women are the ones who display the robotic behavior in Cherry 2000, while the romantic men are forced to seek out the loving emulation of androids for any “meaningful” companionship. Of course the film sells out in the end, as the main character who sacrifices everything in a dangerous quest to replace his beloved, short circuited fembot (Cherry, played by Pamela Gidley) with the identical discontinued model, ultimately falls for the crass and bitchy, tomboyish tracker, “Edith”(Melanie Griffith) whom he’s hired to help locate the robot.

With the advent of “yes means yes” laws it doesn’t seem like it will be long before men will be required to get some type of verbally recorded or written consent to engage in sexual activity with a seemingly “turned on” girl, to shield themselves from litigation or criminal prosecution if she turns on them later. As if getting a girl pregnant or contracting an STD wasn’t enough to worry about, now we have bigger fish to fry. Indeed, there is already a phone app for sexual consent, called Good2Go.

Recent developments over the past two decades have lead me to conclude we’re headed towards Cherry 2000 style dating in America. Indeed, I’ve started to notice that the crudely annoying spambots on Tinder and Okcupid have been getting more sophisticated in their programming to the point where interacting with them can be more romantically stimulating than talking to actual chicks (which, if you’ve ever had an unfortunate exchange with one of these Tinderbots you would realize is more of a knock on the sorry state of the 21st century female conversational experience than it is one marveling in wonder at the advancements in artificial intelligence spam.)

Then there are video game characters. Back in a particularly isolated time period of my life in 2001 and 2002, when all I did was drink diet pepsi, eat microwave popcorn and play old Super Nintendo RPGs in my studio apartment, I would occasionally develop what I guess you could call “crushes” on some of the female sprites in the games (such as Rydia from Final Fantasy IV, Marle and Schala from Chrono Trigger, Paula from Earthbound, etc.) even to where I began to curiously research the technological possibilities of transferring human consciousness to a computer. I was thinking of course that if i could somehow hack a sprite that resembled me into the game’s ROM, that it might be possible to get something going. Yeah, it’s crazy but so what? Realized dreams are the work of madmen. I also saw Tron in the theater when I was a kid so perhaps it left a subconscious impression on me.

In any case, if that kind of emotion was possible to evoke in the days of 16 bit SNES pixelation, I can only imagine how real a romance could be in the context of modern video games which are now much more advanced in their elaborate overworlds, roleplays and simulations. Thousands if not millions of men and women find the virtual experience of video games more appealing than going outside and playing. It would be naive to think that organic human love would be any less vulnerable to competition from artificial intelligence than other components of our earthly existence.

Dust off your 1980’s JC Penney catalog and get your fembots on order, men! This scene is coming to a nightclub or campus near you.

Brandon Adamson is the author of Beatnik Fascism

Backpage’s Greatest Hits

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Well, Backpage finally relented and pulled the plug on their “adult services” section. It goes without saying that in the short term this will have a profound financial impact on the women who make their living offering these *ahem* services. I personally have no problem with prostitution other than the fact that as a hypochondriac and a germophobe I’ve never been inclined to actually visit one (the closest I think I’ve ever gotten would be getting lap dances at a strip club where the girls openly flouted some of the rules on contact.)  I guess the other issue I have with prostitution is that it’s just another annoying level of consumerism and the commoditization of absolutely everything. It has always been around though and probably always will be.

I’m not sure it’s worth paying for a lot of these women, and I don’t know enough about psychology to understand the men that do it repeatedly. In real life, most hookers don’t look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and are actually pretty beat. Many of them use fake or misleading pictures and often the ones that use real pics are pretty bottom of the barrel generally (look at a few mugshots on google images to get an idea.) Some of them are genuinely pretty but tend to get some rough miles on them fairly quickly. There are undoubtedly a lot of attractive and honest female escorts mixed in among the riff raff, but for the effort required to locate a legit one without getting robbed, arrested or scammed you might as well just spend all that energy trying to find a decent girlfriend or wife.

When I moved to Hollywood in the late 90’s I noticed right away there were no hot streetwalkers or anything like in the movies. The only prostitutes seemed to be horribly unpassable trannies that sauntered around Santa Monica blvd (think Ted Wass dressed as a hooker in Curse of the Pink Panther.) My friend told me the authorities had “cleaned up” Hollywood Blvd a few years before, so I have no idea if what was previously depicted in movies was ever anything close to resembling reality.

pretty_woman_movie
This is not what a typical prostitute and her client look like and was also a pretty bad movie and also forever ruined the Roy Orbison song of the same name.

Anyway, where was I going with all this? I don’t normally like writing about these kinds of subjects because it brings out the “ZOMG Degeneracy!” crowd and the prudish right. I won’t really miss Backpage, and the people that run it are the same kind of people that bitch about censorship yet have no problem with censorship when it comes to crimethink they disapprove of. One thing I will miss though, is reading the often humorous reviews of Backpage escorts. I first stumbled onto them by accident several years ago when searching for the address of a (recently converted) condo unit I was looking to buy:

Hey guys just letting everyone know that if you book a session with Pixie or any girl at 1241 e. medlock Villa Marvisa apartments that you will be getting more than you bargained for. There is a guy (calling himself T-Bone)in one of the locked bedrooms that video and audio tapes every session. He then keeps all the tape cause in case he needs to use them later[/QUOTE]

I’m a little freaked about this myself. I visited Pixy a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to see if she could actually squirt. Things did seems pretty normal during the introduction. Looking back now I can see that this could be true. She started off by making her “disclaimer” speech which I though was a little unusual, but nothing really really caught me off guard at the time. If they are recording this as a way to protect themselves from LE I could understand that but the really should disclose that info up front. If it’s for the purpose of redistributing I’m going to be up shit creek. I definately will not be back there either way.

I had no idea at the time there was an entire internet subculture of these kinds of reviews. Reading them has been an occasional source of amusement for me when I’m bored every now and then. These people have their own lingo (GFE, BBBJ, etc) which takes a bit of time to decode. They tend to refer to their encounters as dreams (ie. “I had a dream I visited Wilma in Riverside”) presumably as some kind of legal loophole to prevent them from incriminating themselves in a crime. These reviews are often explicit in the grossest ways, and some of these people are truly degenerates and completely without shame or class. Yet even among them there exists something of a code of honor in how business is conducted and people are treated.

One interesting development from Backpage shutting down it’s escort ads has been that these women are now simply placing their ads in the “women seeking men” section of the dating classifieds. Wew! So don’t be surprised if on apps like Tinder and Okcupid you start getting an influx of matches, propositions and “dates” from actual live escorts (in addition to the normal annoying bots and spam scripts that already run rampant on those sites.) Be safe out there, lads and ladies. It’s best to just avoid all this crap and find a nice stable relationship if you can…and even if you can’t, there are more productive ways you can spend your time…like reading old books or reading any book for that matter.  Heck even playing “Leisure Suit Larry 6” for a few hours would be a better use of your time. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.